It may be cliche that, right at the beginning of 2010 I find myself in a place where I desperately need to rewire my way of life.

This isn’t the first time it’s happened to me—a set back that actually sets me in motion for positive change and growth.

It has been a long time coming, and the more I fell away from God, the shorter the time became before He would inevitably bring me back to Him.

For years I believed it would be better if I kept the control, if I steered the way, if I made the final decisions.

Being completely and utterly dependent upon Him is what He wants from me.  He knows my heart and what will make me happy, He’s a jealous god and will not settle with anything less than total surrender—He will be after me my entire life.

With this knowledge, I can finally be secure, with a love that is completely unfaltering, unending and unknowing in it’s capacity.

I can live each day without worry, without fear, without loneliness.

I can live with excitement, knowing that what He has in store for me is greater than I could ever comprehend!

⁹However, as it is written:
“No eye has seen,
no ear has heard,
no mind has conceived
what God has prepared for those who love him”        1 Corinthians 2:9

God can have all of my control. He can have all of my anxiety, all of my worry, all of my sadness, all of my loneliness, all of my heartache.

I am going to live with conviction, centering everything around Him, always diving deeper into His love.

When you feel like you’ve lost everything, you ironically find yourself in the perfect place to finally gain everything—everything that truly matters, that is.