Wow… I can still hardly believe it, but David and I are engaged!!!

David proposed to me when I arrived in Toronto, in arrivals at the airport—with a guitar in hand, song ready to go, and our families standing by to support!

I am so unbelievably thrilled!! I could not be more happy.

David and I have gone through a lot together. 

We started our relationship when I was in somewhat of a ‘bad’ place personally, but he still fell in love with me!  Then God called me to spend some time away from everyone, after only 4 months of us being together.  Couldn’t tell you why I did, but I moved to Banff, AB for 9 months.  David came and visited me often, and I went home three times during those 9 months.  Within that time, David ended up moving out to Vancouver for cinematography school.  I joined him there 4 months after.

Not only have we dealt (successfully!) with long distance, but he has stood by me when I was choosing to have control over my life, instead of letting God have control.  Choosing the latter was slowly (but surely!) destroying our relationship, and ultimately myself as well. 

David has given me a lot of forgiveness, patience and grace.

Throughout our time together, God has ripened me (and still is) into a woman who will be able to be a proper wife for David.  As well He has strengthened David into a man who will be a dependable and compassionate husband for me.  Having David in my life is a direct show of how much God loves me. 

We were not able to get to this point without God directing and being the center of our relationship!  And we will need Him now more than ever, in order for our marriage to truly glorify Him.

This upcoming year is going to be the best of my life so far.  Regardless of how challenging, demanding, educational, and stressful—it’ll be successful.  And I can’t wait!!

I wanted to write a post about God’s grace.

Turns out things in my life are working out quite well—to the point where it’s almost scary!

A part of me sometimes thinks, “You should start worrying that something bad is going to happen, for you don’t deserve all these good things.” The more I think about it, the more I realize it’s Satan putting that thought there.

The truth is, none of us are deserving of anything we have. Everything we DO have is a gift, and comes by Gods grace. So no, I don’t deserve it.

But Gods grace is so beautiful. I have done a lot in my life that I am so not proud of. When I think about those things I feel sick and wonder how I was able to obtain everything that I have now. But God has been telling me that even though I have sinned, He loves me and has forgiven me. And that the fullness of His grace is with me.

He still wants me to achieve my goals and obtain my dreams, and have me live them for His glory.

He always wants us to succeed, and to get there He’ll make it so you need Him more than ever. Together you’ll build a beautiful relationship, He’ll ripen you until you’re ready to burst, then He’ll make your dreams come true.

I’ve been concerned for awhile now, why others have had their dreams come true way before mine have, and why I’VE had to wait. It’s only been in the past couple of days where I’ve gained much more understanding in Gods ripening stage.

And it never ends, He’s always growing you. He’ll bring you to a point where you can rest and give Him glory, then He’ll keep on going.

And what do you get out of it? Pure joy and happiness.

:)

I hate leaving Ontario.  Especially after a lovely 10 days spent with friends and family.  Did I mention David lives there now?

I have to remind myself that it’s my decision completely to live and work in Vancouver.  I COULD go home whenever I wanted… I have the freedom to do so!

Staying here and riding this out will set me up for my future.  I have to remember that it’s better to think long term than short term. 

Right now, my feelings and emotions are telling me to give myself short term rewards, to pack up and leave, so that I can feel more comfortable and ‘okay’.

My logic and rationality, however, tells me that this will be worth it, that you ARE okay, and that ‘comfortable’ is your own choice and perspective.

Who can say that they were successful by up and quitting? Not a lot, I’m sure.

My heart desires to be home, and I know one day I will be.  But this short term pain WILL produce long term gain—as long as I stick with it, and stay strong.

And the longer I stay at it, the stronger I will become, and the better life I’ll have for it.

Sigh.

This post is dedicated to my Dad, in honor of Father’s Day.

As I grow up, it becomes clearer to me how kids in their 20’s can easily make mistakes with marriages, and children.  No parent knows it all right off the bat.  I have to commend both my parents for their work since myself and my siblings arrived.

I was blessed with two incredibly loving parents, who both to this day never cease to tell me how much they love me.  

Unfortunately, it didn’t work out with my mom and dad, but we remained quite close throughout it all.

The following are just a few things that I love about my dad.

Any time I needed help, wherever I was, my dad would be there.  When the car wouldn’t start, when a boy was yelling at me, when my heart was broken and I knew God was my only option; my dad was there pointing me in the right direction. 

My dad taught me that you should never spend money you don’t have.  Because of this knowledge I have no debt, and buy all my expensive items with cash up front.  I’ve found a lot of freedom with this.

My dad never believes just anything he hears.  He does his research, gets to the source, and finds the truth.

My dad reads at least one book a week; he loves to learn, and always tells me how he never realized how much he would still be learning in his 50’s.

My dad is now step/fathering 3 more children (20 years after my sister, brother and I).  Two of them have behavioural issues (yes, worse than my siblings and I!), and one of them is 4 and a half.  I’m learning from him, as he is learning from them.

My dad taught me how to find the perfect guy.  I can only imagine how hard it was for him to see me go from relationship to relationship, always having it end in heartbreak for me.  He told me to write a list of all the qualities I was looking for, and to read it at least once a day.  Lo and behold, the man with all the qualities on my list finally arrived almost 4 years ago, and is the man of my dreams.

My dad get’s real excited about setting goals and achieving dreams.  He has taught me that God will place those dreams in your heart, give you a vision, and send you down a path to find them.  My dad believes in me endlessly, and is always just a phone call away for words of encouragement.  

My dad’s truth never falters.  He is always consistent.  Whenever I am sad or worried, he tells me every single time to lean more on God.  His solid belief in Christ is inspiring, and gives me hope as I build my own relationship with God.

My dad teaches me how to be successful in all of my relationships.  He tells me just to love, always.  He tells me to put others first.  He tells me to be patient and pray for strength when dealing with unruly attitudes.  

My dad tells me about HIS faults.  He tells me how angry he gets when his kids don’t listen to him, how hard it is to love those who hurt him, and how much he misses his friends and family back in Ontario (as he lives in Syracuse, NY).

My dad always drives 4 hours to see me when I fly home for a long enough time.  

The things my dad does for me, tells me how much he loves me.

My dad prays for me, every day.  

I love you Dad!  

Reason #567 how I know God is watching over me; man at gas station knocks on my window b4 I drive away to tell me my cap is still off…

David and I have come well past our 3 year mark.  I can’t believe how blessed I am to have him stay with me throughout everything we’ve experienced together.  You know you’ve found a strong man when he doesn’t ever give up.

David in my life, is a sure sign that God loves me and is taking care of me.  Now I have to depend on Him in order to not screw it up!  

I am extremely excited for our future together, whatever it’ll bring, and whenever it’ll bring it.  I’ve learned, and am still learning, how to truly love, and receive love.  

Thankyou God for sending me the most gracious, patient, generous, loving, caring and forgiving man in the whole world!

Looking forward to things changing, moving forward, getting better. #lifecanbehard

Aaaand it’s been another long while.  

I would just like to say, that the newest thing in my life as of today, would be my friend’s baby girl.

I’ve only known this couple since early fall, but they increasingly become my favourite people the more I spend time with them.  

I’m happy to have them in my life, because I’ve never been close with anyone who has a newborn.  It’s an amazing thing to be welcomed into :)

Watching new life appear into the world puts things into perspective, especially if stuff going on in your life are making things difficult.

At my age, there is nothing that I want more than marriage and babies.  It’s hard to see it happen all around me, having to wait my turn… then when you’re staring into a newborn’s eyes, part of you realizes its not something to be selfish about, but then the other part wants it even more!

I know I’m still considered young, but when it IS happening all around you, you start to wonder and compare.  You wonder what his heart really feels, you wonder if your time is running out…  You wonder why you were made to wait and others received it right away.  

But then you pray about it, and He shows you why.  He tells you that in order for you to be the best wife possible, your heart just needs a little extra time and care.  He knows your dreams, and He doesn’t want you to fail, so He’ll give you all the time you need… Even if you don’t know or think you need it.

Life is funny like that.  I’ve known for awhile that you can’t really plan too far ahead for things out of your control, however, that doesn’t really stop me from still doing it!

I suppose I gain a false sense of comfort, when I think I have everything sorted out down the road.  It makes complete sense though.  The unfortunate truth, is that the more you DO try to control the future, the more it seems to fall apart.  

When it all boils down, there just really isn’t a point to compare, control or worry.  It does nothing but make one sad.  I know this, but I need to really instil this truth into my life.

And for now, I’ll leave you with this precious angel.

The following are a few quick shots I took at work this evening.  I very muchly enjoy their eyes and wanted to see what I could do with a few seconds of their time and whatever available light I had.  I’ll more than likely force them to sit for me again—just a heads up!

Matt and Fiona